Get Some Tail, Merbabes
Your box-o-goods awaits you! Limited quantities available so get yer tail moving!
Biren Swag Box (or our mini-option! Siren Swag Bag) - an adult, merbabe inspired box for the sassiest of sirens. Don't miss this quarterly delivery of badass treasures for mermaids GONE BAD.
One Month or One Year!
You're only charged for WHAT you want WHEN you want it. We have a LIMITED number of each box that will be available. If you decide after you order that you don't want your box, you have 48 hours to change your mind.
Unless you order a full year of boxes (4), each box will become available for purchase online at least 30 days before the ship date. In some cases sooner.
If you order a shop item with your box, that item will ship within 3-5 days but your box will ship on the scheduled date. When we're sold out, we're sold out! Wanna secure your boxes? Buy the year and you'll always be in for the next one!
We will offer our Siren Swag Box quarterly - roughly each box will ship on these dates:
October 1, 2020
January 4, 2021
April 1, 2021
July 1, 2021
Give or take 2-5 days on either side of that. If we sell out of boxes and all items have arrived, we will send them out! In the tiny event that we have extras, they'll be on the site for sale in the shop.
Not-Really-Kinda. While The Filthy Mermaid WAS a monthly subscription at one time, we found that the subscription model comes with a LOT of issues that effected our production and our customers like address changes, expired credit cards, missed cancellation dates, etc. Let's not make life harder than it needs to be, right? You buy the ones you want and only the ones you want - and then you buy the level of what you want!
Each month will be priced differently based on what we've chosen to feature. By buying the year, you lock in the lowest possible price for every box.
Our MERMISSION is to send you treasures only a badass merbabe like you needs in his/her life! Each box will have a general theme - while we are mermaid inspired, please know we're not sending you Disney shit. Yeah, yeah...Ariel was my hero too but I was 7 so let's move on here.
As artists and creators ourselves, each box will have unique items from TFM/by TFM. But we're part of a fierce pod of some incredible people who make some incredible goods! We include items we think you will like and that compliment and inspire you!
Item examples include: Apparel, accessories, housewares, gifts, jewelry, stickers, fun curiosities, and anything that makes us smile!
Packages are sent via USPS - depending on weight, its First Class or Priorty Mail - all will have tracking numbers send to you. So, YES! We mail to all 50 states and territories. If you do not receive your box, we'll hunt high and low for that box.. BUT, if our tracking records say DELIVERED, we will not replace stolen or mis-delivered packages.
IF YOU CHANGE YOUR ADDRESS:
you MUST email us or we will use the original address in your order.
Fuck yeah! But here's the thing... we don't guarantee anything that leaves the USA boarder or its territories. Shipping to the UK, Europe, Australia, or Canada (dude!!! y'alls customs is a nightmare!) are all possible and we're happy to do it - but it's expensive and if it's lost or super delayed... it is what it is. You'll get tracking and then we sit back and toke a little and see how that plays out ;)
Overseas shipping will go out via USPS International Priority mail. If you live somewhere that this is not possible, please take that into consideration - or, let me know if you have a preferred way and we'll work it together if we can before you order.
Did you know that TFM started because we needed to send a fun GIFT?! WE. LOVE. PRESENTS. In the order, you have a place to put a note for your recipient. We'll put your message on a cute AF little card in our best handwriting and put as much love into your gift as you would yourself. Making your loved one happy makes us REALLY happy!
Anyone CAN order... but please note that some of our items could contain profanity, sexual innuendo, "seaweed" related items, etc. It's not for kids... and not for some adults! If you get butthurt about certain things, please don't buy this box. We love all people in all ways and nothing we do is intended to be insensitive or hurtful. If we fuck up, we'll fix it but please understand the difference between cultural appreciation and appropriation before you get on your soapbox. It's a fucking box of fun mermaid inspired shit - just enjoy it or don't buy it.
Ideally, 21 and older is the best age.
Well, shit. That sucks for all of us! If this happens, please know that we'll take care of you! We need a photo of the box condition and the items in your box - as much detail as you can in photos is best so that we can claim damages. If we have an item available to replace your broken one, we will send it your way. If we do not, you'll be provided credit to use on the website.